Thursday, January 24, 2008

American Idol 7: I'm Your Angel Edition


TV on the INTERNETS has finally gotten off its high horse and introduced a Department of Alternative Programming here at our NY offices. From here on out TVOTI will no longer subjectively discriminate against reality programming and will allow into its purview of quality entertainment the Fox juggernaurous "American Idol." Why? Because after 7 years we've realized it's pointless to try to hate on a legitimate phenomenon that fulfills the very expectations with which TV was created - to provide disparate people of a unified land a sense of community through shared experience. So let's come together and celebrate American Idol Season 7's South Carolina auditions.

Very few potential winners will come out of the crop shown to us in last night's one hour episode but there definitely were some standouts.

First, there was Oliver Highman. I'm not sure if that's how you officially spell his last name but I prefer Hymen, since it would go better with the whole vaginal vibe of his audition. His wife went into labor; he stunk, etc. An interesting programming choice on the part of American Idol to build an episode-long story arc around a guy who ends up being kind of lame.



Second, Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin brought the "ow" with an R. Kelly / Celine Dion duet that I didn't even know existed. Jeffrey was kind of good though his head voice fell flat some times and doesn't bode well for his performance of songs that aren't booming ballads. Michelle squeaked through because it would just be too sad to watch them say goodbye right now. Let's wait for that awkward Hollywood cry and embrace for which Sanjaya and his sexy sis set the precedent last year.



Third, last night AI sent some cats home that didn't seem outrageously horrendous in my opinion.

For example, was Lyndsay Goodman that bad?



What about the self-proclaimed "Black Clay Aiken," Rishard? Too gay for American Idol? For reals?



Finally, we here at TV on the INTERNETS think Simon saw into the future and predicted a story line that should provide some drama into the early rounds of Season 7. Will Amy Catharine Flynn live up to her potential as the most hated 16-year-old in the country?



Let's see, a cheerleader that doesn't bone. Yeah, I can't think of a single person that liked that chick in high school.

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