AOTC: Rolling Stones Gather No Cred

Back in November I posted a meandering manifesto on why NBC's "Heroes" sucks. Three weeks later Lesley Savage wrote in the December 14th issue of Rolling Stone what could be considered an anachronistic rebuttal. You know, three weeks before she made her points I countered them on this blog thereby subverting some sort of logical temporal relationship between point/counter-point argumentation. For instance:

I said:

[Heroes] is written by Tim Kring, a gentleman (who knows, he might be an asshole) whose past television and writing credits offer nothing to intimate an organic familiarity with comic books or the aesthetic of comic lore.

Lesley said:

"...Heroes transcends sci-fi-loving nerds. 'We wanted to make sure that we weren't just a genre-based show,' says Kring, who never reads comic books.'" (my emphasis)

Translation = let's embrace Heroes as watered-down comic book fiction even though it performs the same function as a Jessica Simpson cover of a classic rock song - all tits, no authentic connection to the material.

I said:

It's just not geeky enough.

Lesley said:

"IT'S NOT TOO GEEKY" (her emphasis, not mine)

Translation = not geeky means not detailed and nuanced which means cheesy which means perfect for white chicks named Lesley.

I said:

It is a soap opera with lazy dramatic writing techniques to mask the holes in its supposed mystery.

Lesley said:

(quoting Kring) "We're just the opposite of most shows...It's not like a tank of gas that runs out. We generate more twists and turns the more we reveal...If you're positing that there are people all over the world with powers, it's an endless supply."

Translation = We make the show up as we go; there is no long term plot structure and we're going to keep stretching things out as long as the sponsors ask.

I said:

Third, and most importantly, where's the show's overarching metaphor? Heroes is nothing without its Christ figure. Nothing without its Holocaust themes. Nothing without the political subtext necessary to make a comic book the innocent representation of the ugly truths adults rationalize with the principles of capitalism, realism, safety and pragmatism.

Lesley said:

"While the show works as fantasy, it also reflects the world we live in...In times of war, superhero movies do well because we need a break from grim reality."

Translation = Hm, I have no capacity to critically interpret the events of history and therefore must rely on contrived analyses of current events to establish a metaphor for my show. Sorry, Kring and Savage, but that bullshit figurative speech could be said about anything from why people like Two and A Half Men (buddy comedies reinforce the importance of friendship in these trying times of alienation and anxiety) to 24 (contemporary Westerns allow viewers to sublimate their fears of Arabs in the gunslinger ethos of a man who's more Cowboy than our current jingoist President).

Sorry, Lesley. Consider yourself re-rebutted.